I can't even begin to describe how much my life has changed since the last time I wrote in this.
Well, I can.
Les Mis, first of all, is over. It was the pivot of my life. The stage is my calling, I can feel it. Even if it isn't, the things I have learned, the friends I made, the times I had.. they will be with me forever. Hahah, I hadn't even joined stock last time I posted this. Holy shit. Summerstock has also changed my life. I have a fucking boyfriend now, can you believe it? One month on Saturday =) People I never imagined I would be friends with are now some of the best. I am a busy busy man nowadays, which is kind of depressing because I don't hang out with any of my old friends as much. Ones that I miss way too much.
Graham Mothersill. Wow, I didn't think I'd move from Red fuckin Sherwood to him, but oh man. There's just something about him. I adore him. Simply put, I just adore him.
Whats the song of the day today? Seasons of Love from RENT. It's a show that I was so close to being in, but didn't. How my life could have changed if I had decided to just go in, I have no idea. How others could have changed. For better? For worse? I love this show.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter and strife
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure a year in the life?
How bout love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
In truth that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died
It's time now
To sing out
Though the story never ends
Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends!
Oh, you got to remember love!
You know that love is a gift from up above!
Share love! Give love! Spread love!
Measure your life in love!
Seasons of love
Measure your life in love
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, September 20, 2009
October Can't Come Fast Enough..
FDgadkfjgndasFLKJNDAF..
Not really sure why I did that, seeing as my life is pretty good right now.
Minus being sick and hungover lawl.
So I'm kind of pumped for the next while. Why? Well, September 29th for one, which is the day both the AFI AND DRAGONETTE ALBUMS COME OUT!!! I'm excited for new music to sing along to =]
Oh, also super pumped for Les Mis. I don't know why, but I think it'll do great. And as assholish as it makes me sound, I'm kind of loving all the hype about my audition. I'm such a dick haha.
OH YEAH ALSO A LIL THING CALLED METRIC IS COMING TO TOWN!!!! DVJISDFDAFV. I'm like super super excited for shirts and posterssss.
Haha, so for some reason when I'm high and about to go to bed, I'll see something.
And then just go on an hour long redecorating rampage. Sometimes. It's happened twice so far and they are always just super ideas lol and I feel great about what I do each time. But what I really wanna do is paint my room green and brown. Not like puke but like earthy colours haha. I'm such a fag.
HAHAHA. Went to the ghost party last night. Drank a mickey of vodka. Puked on the side of bryn's dad's car. Good times. Also smoked weed with olivia lolololololololololololololol. Still trying to grasp the fact that I actually did that. I also smoked weed with rowan, jess, and alex too. Which was.. lawlworthy. I had to since they gave me a ride. They gave me a beer too so that was nice of them. But yeah, good party. Minus graduated football guys. For 'some reason' they all hate me. Oh yeah, and whoever those bitches red was hanging out with. For some reason they were not impressed with me in the slightest and mocked me in front of my face when I didnt even know who the hell they were haha. But not haha cause they were bitches. ]=
I thought I lost my phone. I was worrying about it all day, and was going to drive to ghost to walk around and find it, and it turns out it was just under my pillow. Greeaaaat work team, eh?
Song of the Week, in light of recent events, is 14 Forever by Stars.
10,000 drunken kids in a field can't be wrong
The song must be beautiful or they wouldn't sing along
And if sometimes the kids all seem a little sad
It's cause they're saying goodbye to the youth they think they had
I see it in your eyes,
You're sick of me lying
I want to tell the truth but I'm afraid that you'll leave
I seem like a child
To keep me from dying
I'm 14 Forever if I make you believe
The hit is hammered out and the audience erupts
The revolution starts in a sea of paper cuts
We look behind us when you cheer for someone else
I'm the only lover you can keep up on the shelf
I hear it in your voice
You're tired of the song now
And deep inside your mind you hear a song of your own
But keep me beside you cause it's been to long now
I'm 14 forever so don't leave me alone
I remember on the sidewalk when I bike up to the hills
You're singing in the headphones as I told him that I will
That song again in the alleyway takes me to my door
I'll be back for more
Not really sure why I did that, seeing as my life is pretty good right now.
Minus being sick and hungover lawl.
So I'm kind of pumped for the next while. Why? Well, September 29th for one, which is the day both the AFI AND DRAGONETTE ALBUMS COME OUT!!! I'm excited for new music to sing along to =]
Oh, also super pumped for Les Mis. I don't know why, but I think it'll do great. And as assholish as it makes me sound, I'm kind of loving all the hype about my audition. I'm such a dick haha.
OH YEAH ALSO A LIL THING CALLED METRIC IS COMING TO TOWN!!!! DVJISDFDAFV. I'm like super super excited for shirts and posterssss.
Haha, so for some reason when I'm high and about to go to bed, I'll see something.
And then just go on an hour long redecorating rampage. Sometimes. It's happened twice so far and they are always just super ideas lol and I feel great about what I do each time. But what I really wanna do is paint my room green and brown. Not like puke but like earthy colours haha. I'm such a fag.
HAHAHA. Went to the ghost party last night. Drank a mickey of vodka. Puked on the side of bryn's dad's car. Good times. Also smoked weed with olivia lolololololololololololololol. Still trying to grasp the fact that I actually did that. I also smoked weed with rowan, jess, and alex too. Which was.. lawlworthy. I had to since they gave me a ride. They gave me a beer too so that was nice of them. But yeah, good party. Minus graduated football guys. For 'some reason' they all hate me. Oh yeah, and whoever those bitches red was hanging out with. For some reason they were not impressed with me in the slightest and mocked me in front of my face when I didnt even know who the hell they were haha. But not haha cause they were bitches. ]=
I thought I lost my phone. I was worrying about it all day, and was going to drive to ghost to walk around and find it, and it turns out it was just under my pillow. Greeaaaat work team, eh?
Song of the Week, in light of recent events, is 14 Forever by Stars.
10,000 drunken kids in a field can't be wrong
The song must be beautiful or they wouldn't sing along
And if sometimes the kids all seem a little sad
It's cause they're saying goodbye to the youth they think they had
I see it in your eyes,
You're sick of me lying
I want to tell the truth but I'm afraid that you'll leave
I seem like a child
To keep me from dying
I'm 14 Forever if I make you believe
The hit is hammered out and the audience erupts
The revolution starts in a sea of paper cuts
We look behind us when you cheer for someone else
I'm the only lover you can keep up on the shelf
I hear it in your voice
You're tired of the song now
And deep inside your mind you hear a song of your own
But keep me beside you cause it's been to long now
I'm 14 forever so don't leave me alone
I remember on the sidewalk when I bike up to the hills
You're singing in the headphones as I told him that I will
That song again in the alleyway takes me to my door
I'll be back for more
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Never thought I would say it, but I miss the hell out of cochrane.
Well, not so much Cochrane, but my friends. As I sit here on the 2nd level of this really tall house, listening to the right earphone of my headphones and watching two dogs having a fight over who gets to sniff my clothes, I know where my friends are. In their beds, at home, still asleep, like I was doing at the same time today. It's wierd, how time and travelling works, you can fly somewhere and be there before you left at home. Or you could be 8 hours ahead of where you're used to being. Hard to explain, but it messes my head up.
I realise now that I am going to find it really hard to leave home and my friends for good. I mean, it'll definitely be different than coming to europe, with everyone speaking the same language instead of a different one and such, but I will still be away from the rolling foothills and rocky mountains of cochrane, alberta. And THEN I start listening to the Rural Alberta Advantage and I start liking them mroe and more each time. It's tragically wonderful.
And I realise I shot myself in the foot a bit while I was here. It literally JUST hit me now that my biggest secret is now known to pretty much everyone that I hang out with on a regular basis. Like, it's great cause now I can finally fucking be MYSELF, but now I think it's going to be super awkward if I ever hang out with warren 1 on 1 again. I mean, I'm not really interested in him and I wouldn't jeopardize what him and Mallory have, but I don't know if he knows that I wouldn't try anything. And I really am nervous to actually talk to him in person when I come back. I mean, jeeeez. I'm fine with girls. But Warren is basically the only guy friend that I have and now it may or may not be awkward. :( I'll see what happens. Hopefully nothing and we can just keep on living like we have been since we've been friends.
Enough about me longing for home! TEXXXEEELLLLL! Fucking beaaauuutiful place. I felt like I was in a place that didn't know what it was. There were bits of rural holland that I'm used to, there was some California beaches and dunes, and maritime buildings and landscapes. It was unnnreal, and I'm defintiely coming back whenever I'm here next. AAANÑND! I'm like brown right now. Got a bitchin farmers tan, but the normally untanned part is just LESS tanned!! Not like pale! It's wondrous! Except I'm pretty sure it's going to fade before I come home cause thats just how much my skin loves me.
And Dutch people have NO idea how to camp. Like omfg it's stupid. A) all the campgrounds had indoor bathrooms and showers with drinking water and maybe a sitting room and a restaurant. WTF. Tarded. B) NO FIREPITS. I was looking forward to having a good ole fashioned campfire but noooooooooooo. -_-
We had a camper, too. So basically it was like living slightly uncomfortably for 2 days when there was probably a hotel/motel about a 5 minute drive away. Whatever, it was pretty fun.
Yesterday Zusan, Lia and I went on like a 35-40 km bike ride around the area. I wasn't really tired at all on account of whenever I have to bike I have to go up like a 60 degree angle. Here its so friggen flat and the only hills are the dikes that are barely anything. We were going up the big dike and I was at the top and they were like halfway up and out of breathe. It was superb. I felt so fit and great about myself at the end of the day, and then I got drunk and had a great talk with Rita!
Today, got up, had breakfast, and went to the stables with Zusan, and I RODE A FUCKIN HORSE FOR LIKE 15 MIN. It was soo fun, but really bumpy and my ass hurts from that and the long ass bike ride yesterday. OH, I really really love european guys. Just putting that out there. There are some ugly ones but lots of hot guys too. Oh, yeah, so the horse ride, i stopped because it went WAY faster than I wanted it to for like 5 seconds and I got a little terrified so I just stopped haha. Definitely something I wanna do again, though.
I can't friggen believe that it's already almost been 3 weeks. As much as I wanna go home theres a little part of me that doesn't want to leave, cause I feel guilty sometimes that I haven't been hanging out with Zus as much as I could, but thats cause I got homesick and wanted to talk to my friends. But still, home is getting more and more appealing every day.
And I think they're having a going away party for me tomorrow night, cause yesterday before the bike ride I came here to change, and there was like 5 full flats of beer in the front, probably what I wasn't supposed to see.
Anyways, I'm going to write a few post cards and send them, then put the keg of heineken in the fridge, and then shower! I MISS YOU KEIRA. <3
I realise now that I am going to find it really hard to leave home and my friends for good. I mean, it'll definitely be different than coming to europe, with everyone speaking the same language instead of a different one and such, but I will still be away from the rolling foothills and rocky mountains of cochrane, alberta. And THEN I start listening to the Rural Alberta Advantage and I start liking them mroe and more each time. It's tragically wonderful.
And I realise I shot myself in the foot a bit while I was here. It literally JUST hit me now that my biggest secret is now known to pretty much everyone that I hang out with on a regular basis. Like, it's great cause now I can finally fucking be MYSELF, but now I think it's going to be super awkward if I ever hang out with warren 1 on 1 again. I mean, I'm not really interested in him and I wouldn't jeopardize what him and Mallory have, but I don't know if he knows that I wouldn't try anything. And I really am nervous to actually talk to him in person when I come back. I mean, jeeeez. I'm fine with girls. But Warren is basically the only guy friend that I have and now it may or may not be awkward. :( I'll see what happens. Hopefully nothing and we can just keep on living like we have been since we've been friends.
Enough about me longing for home! TEXXXEEELLLLL! Fucking beaaauuutiful place. I felt like I was in a place that didn't know what it was. There were bits of rural holland that I'm used to, there was some California beaches and dunes, and maritime buildings and landscapes. It was unnnreal, and I'm defintiely coming back whenever I'm here next. AAANÑND! I'm like brown right now. Got a bitchin farmers tan, but the normally untanned part is just LESS tanned!! Not like pale! It's wondrous! Except I'm pretty sure it's going to fade before I come home cause thats just how much my skin loves me.
And Dutch people have NO idea how to camp. Like omfg it's stupid. A) all the campgrounds had indoor bathrooms and showers with drinking water and maybe a sitting room and a restaurant. WTF. Tarded. B) NO FIREPITS. I was looking forward to having a good ole fashioned campfire but noooooooooooo. -_-
We had a camper, too. So basically it was like living slightly uncomfortably for 2 days when there was probably a hotel/motel about a 5 minute drive away. Whatever, it was pretty fun.
Yesterday Zusan, Lia and I went on like a 35-40 km bike ride around the area. I wasn't really tired at all on account of whenever I have to bike I have to go up like a 60 degree angle. Here its so friggen flat and the only hills are the dikes that are barely anything. We were going up the big dike and I was at the top and they were like halfway up and out of breathe. It was superb. I felt so fit and great about myself at the end of the day, and then I got drunk and had a great talk with Rita!
Today, got up, had breakfast, and went to the stables with Zusan, and I RODE A FUCKIN HORSE FOR LIKE 15 MIN. It was soo fun, but really bumpy and my ass hurts from that and the long ass bike ride yesterday. OH, I really really love european guys. Just putting that out there. There are some ugly ones but lots of hot guys too. Oh, yeah, so the horse ride, i stopped because it went WAY faster than I wanted it to for like 5 seconds and I got a little terrified so I just stopped haha. Definitely something I wanna do again, though.
I can't friggen believe that it's already almost been 3 weeks. As much as I wanna go home theres a little part of me that doesn't want to leave, cause I feel guilty sometimes that I haven't been hanging out with Zus as much as I could, but thats cause I got homesick and wanted to talk to my friends. But still, home is getting more and more appealing every day.
And I think they're having a going away party for me tomorrow night, cause yesterday before the bike ride I came here to change, and there was like 5 full flats of beer in the front, probably what I wasn't supposed to see.
Anyways, I'm going to write a few post cards and send them, then put the keg of heineken in the fridge, and then shower! I MISS YOU KEIRA. <3
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Hurrayyy! Going camping this weekend on texel! With Annika and Aronn!
So I keep seeing these stupid tag a friend things on facebook but i really wanna make one of my own except NOT put it on facebook! So, I'm just writing down what they say and saying someone who it is.
TAG: realisation: most of these apply to keira but for the sake of monotony i'm just gonna do other people. lol. dirty. Actually I'm just gonna say the 1st few people who pop into my head
A new friend: Andy, I suppose? NewEST friend, I suppose ahah
Your best friend: Keira, Sarah, Louann, Mallory, Warren, Lauren
Someone you met when you were little: Keira
The person with the best smile: Jenna
Someone you always have fun with: Shelby, Sarah
Someone you realized you can't live without: All my best friends haha
Someone who likes good music: Warren and Keira have the most similarities
Someone you used to be really close with: Jordan or Scott
The smartest person you know: Haley Brett
Someone with really nice hair: Sarah, Keira. omg it's raining!
The sweetest person you've ever known: Tessa
The person with the prettiest eyes: Keira, Jane, Sarah
Someone who makes ya laugh till you hurt: Sarah mostly hahah. Louann as well
A truly good friend: Louann and Keira and Sarah
Person you can talk to about ANYTHING: Keira. I can talk about ANYTHING to her.
Friend who knows you better than any of your other friends: Keira
The prettiest girl you know: My cousin annika is actually like holy shit how am I related to her?
Someone who changed your life: Keira mofuckin brown
Your very first crush: Haahaha keira
So I keep seeing these stupid tag a friend things on facebook but i really wanna make one of my own except NOT put it on facebook! So, I'm just writing down what they say and saying someone who it is.
TAG: realisation: most of these apply to keira but for the sake of monotony i'm just gonna do other people. lol. dirty. Actually I'm just gonna say the 1st few people who pop into my head
A new friend: Andy, I suppose? NewEST friend, I suppose ahah
Your best friend: Keira, Sarah, Louann, Mallory, Warren, Lauren
Someone you met when you were little: Keira
The person with the best smile: Jenna
Someone you always have fun with: Shelby, Sarah
Someone you realized you can't live without: All my best friends haha
Someone who likes good music: Warren and Keira have the most similarities
Someone you used to be really close with: Jordan or Scott
The smartest person you know: Haley Brett
Someone with really nice hair: Sarah, Keira. omg it's raining!
The sweetest person you've ever known: Tessa
The person with the prettiest eyes: Keira, Jane, Sarah
Someone who makes ya laugh till you hurt: Sarah mostly hahah. Louann as well
A truly good friend: Louann and Keira and Sarah
Person you can talk to about ANYTHING: Keira. I can talk about ANYTHING to her.
Friend who knows you better than any of your other friends: Keira
The prettiest girl you know: My cousin annika is actually like holy shit how am I related to her?
Someone who changed your life: Keira mofuckin brown
Your very first crush: Haahaha keira
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Drama is SO much harder to deal with when you're halfway around the world
On the bright side: the trip is good!
This blog is officially international, PS. Coming from Sint Maarten, North Holland, The Netherlands. =D I also miss blogging, surprisingly a lot.
Sooo, what lessons have I learned so far since i've been here?
A) People talk too much
B) I dunno i forgot it earlier. But it was important... I think... I dunno I had to close this tab cause Zusans bf came in and i'm like noooooooooooo. haha. I'm a tramp.
So, you whoever reads this (no one) wish to be filled in? Mkay, where should I start....
Oh, right. First, I'm gay. Gaaaaygaygay. Love guys, wish they'd love me more, but whatevs. I'm good for now. Sort of.
Second, Cole Firkus. He started talking to me about a week & a half before I left for this great place, cause for some reason my fb said I was interested in men. Which, although true, definitely wasn't supposed to be like that. So we kept talking and he asked me about it and i'm like... what? And I saw my profile and I'm like well yeah I am but that's DEFINITELY not supposed to be like that. =D I know, I'm oh so bold. It was super, really.. liberating? God I sound like a housewife from the '50s. Either way, we've basically been talking ever since sorta. He's cute enough, but not really my type, kinda, well cocky isnt the right word for it but i'm trying to get this done fast so cocky is good enough. I dunno, but he's a good enough guy.
Third. A few days after I started texting cole and such, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself (and high as fuck) and decided to tell, well, two people who I knew I could trust: Louann and Lauren. Great gals. Lauren I told first, she texted me about this note and Tessa wanted to know who I liked and if it was her so she asked Lauren to ask me, well I'm like nah its a guuuuyyyyy.. And she was like fo shizz? And yeah, pretty good. Louann I told over facebook cause she asked who I liked as well. Soo, basically two people on the same night, pretty dece, if I do say so myself.
Still don't know where this is going? Well, let's get back to that in a little bit, I have to fill in the gaps between then and now.
Louann basically is one of my best friends right now, other than Keira & Sarah. Like, in order, my best friends are this
1. Keira, obvious reasons. Sister.
2. Sarah and Louann tie basically cause they are both my besties just, our hangouts are quite different, maybe that's soon to change, I dunno
3. Lauren. Even though I don't really see much of her, we haven't ever had a not good time and we can talk to each other really easily. Can't friggen wait till I see her.
4. Warren, basically my only guy friend. (who now knows about.. me hurray. This will be elaborated on later) And he's someone I can ACTUALLY call a friend, which is wierd to say about a guy.
5. Mallory, we always have a friggen great time together (minus the time we found warrens car smashed up in an intersection) and now SHE knows as well. I can talk to her easily.
So two days before I left, Louann and I had a great catch up dinner at Earls - friggen delicious food, but that was the first time I've ever had to pay for something at a restaurant (like an actual one) and it waslike $55 for the both of us haha. Deffs wasn't expecting that.
So then the day before I left, I really wasn't feeling the sleeping till only like 3 AM thing, so I just decided to stay up the whole night. Went for an epic walk/chill at my place with keira till about 10, and then Red(omnomnom) dropped off a fucking HUUUGE 20 bag. And he GAVE ME HIS BONG (now for keeps cause he 'had a bad trip' and don't wanna smoke weed anymore. pansy.) so yeah that night Shelby, Brett Loader, and James Sambrook all came over and we had a super good time, and I went to the airport SUPER FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND. Like omg planes = trippiest/funnest thing ever. Then I slept till the plane got to houston, then we had a good time. Had something to eat in houston, waited for a while, got on a plane to amsterdam. Don't feel like giving details abuot all that, so I'll just leave it for another blog (or not).
Got to Holland, Jamie, Wil and Lia picked me up, went to Burgerbrug where W&L live, then went to Sint Maarten to be with Zusan & family. Super great, minus Melvin and Jamie screaming at each other all day. Went to amsterdam on tuesday, had a boat tour through the canals, then walked around and did a shitload of shopping, then came back to SM. <- nice my initials
Okay, birthday party. Basically, best birthday I've ever had. Had a 'surprise' party which was really obvious. "Oh, lets go to your cousins birthday party on YOUR birthday!" Yeah, okay. Hah, but it was a super good time, got super super tanked, did some things apparantly that I don't remember, and met about 35 people that I don't know who are related to me and I don't remember anyone's name. Good times all around, obvs. My cousins say they're going to find me a nice dutch girl to hook up with. That'll go over SO well, I can already tell.
Haha lawl, when I'm on the subject of family and hooking up with people, it turns out Aaron, Julian(Yulian), and Zusan all hooked up with the same girl at different times. My family is CLEARLY just THAT classy. Best part is is that its two guys and a girl. Haha.
Okay, drama time! August 14th: not a great day, for multiple reasons.
2 AM: Spent half an hour clinging to the toilet, no puke (thank god)
10 AM: Rita calls from the other side of the door asking me if I still wanna go to the cheese market in Alkmaar. Prospect of cheese or any other kind of puke makes me want to vomit. I say no and miss out on a once in a year (at least) experience, I'll go next time.
2 PM: Wake up finally, feeling pree good. Eat a friggen delicious sandwich, go to Lia and Wil's to spend the weekend.
11:39 PM: Louann sends me a facebook message: "
so basically, mallory knowswhich means more than likely warren knowsand i don't know who they'll tell or have told..mallory called me and she said cole said you two had been texting a lot and that you were gay. just wanted to let you know..i don't know why they started talking but ya i guess he told her"
DRAAMMAAA TIIIMMEEEE! Sooo, basically this is what happened. Cole and Ali Magee work together. Cole was telling Ali about how lately him and I have been texting/talking on msn a lot lately, and that I am a pretty cool guy. Ali, being that clever feline that she is, comes to the obvious conclusion that, yes, I am gay. Omg Cole, way to make it friggen obvious. -_-. So, Ali goes to talk to Mallory to see if she knows anything about this, Mal says no, Mal promises not to tell anyone. However, Mal decided that it would be appropriate (which it WAS) to ask Louann. Louann had no choice but to confirm this. Oh, and Ali told Mal and Warren at the same time on account of the fact that they were together when Ali went to Mal. Sweet. So, Louann sends me that message, thank god, and little old me on another continent kind of freaks out a bit. Great, now everyones gonna know I'm gay! However, so far I am in the dark about everything. I THINK Cole just went and told Mallory for some reason that I'm gay. So I said some nasty things to him but I apologized and we're good now. And I was worried that cole told a bunch of OTHER people that I'm gay. But, alas, only Ali that we were friends now. And I was worried Ali was telling everyone, but she just went to Mallory. And now everything, to a degree, is good with me. (rhyme for the win) However, Mallory and Ali are now in a fight because Ali is mad at Mal because Mal went to Louann cause she was worried that maybe Warren and I had done something. (which, just for clarification, has never happened) So, now Ali and Louann and Mallory are in this whole big shpiel which I don't care about because I am going to keep the rest of my vacation as drama free as possible.
Also, I am addicted to this yogurt drink they have here called Yoki. Friggen delicious, and comes in giant milk containers. I want to live here.
I was going to add something else as well but I forget, thats for another day.
Song of the month: 'Joyride' by Metric.
Got this song off of youtube cause it isn't released anywhere, friggen delicious. Emily Haines = god.
What have we started?
Reverse locomotion
Predictions and planets align
Fire my apprentice
The expert back benchers
Predict a decline
Send an explosive good-bye to my restraint
Cover my ears and close my eyes
This is our last joy ride
If the abyss doesn't hide then
When I don't want to hear I just
Cover my ears and close my eyes
And when our next joy ride
Hits an abyss and we collide
Will you cover my ears if I cover your eyes
No stop it, momentum, slow motion, collision
Ask me a questionI'm under hypnosis
I'm conscious and barely alive
I feel terrific
Effects soporific
My honest reply
Until the opposite side
Returns full strength then
Cover my ears and close my eyes
And when our next joy ride
Hits an abyss and we collide
Will you cover my ears if I cover your eyes
No stop it, momentum, slow motion, collision
This blog is officially international, PS. Coming from Sint Maarten, North Holland, The Netherlands. =D I also miss blogging, surprisingly a lot.
Sooo, what lessons have I learned so far since i've been here?
A) People talk too much
B) I dunno i forgot it earlier. But it was important... I think... I dunno I had to close this tab cause Zusans bf came in and i'm like noooooooooooo. haha. I'm a tramp.
So, you whoever reads this (no one) wish to be filled in? Mkay, where should I start....
Oh, right. First, I'm gay. Gaaaaygaygay. Love guys, wish they'd love me more, but whatevs. I'm good for now. Sort of.
Second, Cole Firkus. He started talking to me about a week & a half before I left for this great place, cause for some reason my fb said I was interested in men. Which, although true, definitely wasn't supposed to be like that. So we kept talking and he asked me about it and i'm like... what? And I saw my profile and I'm like well yeah I am but that's DEFINITELY not supposed to be like that. =D I know, I'm oh so bold. It was super, really.. liberating? God I sound like a housewife from the '50s. Either way, we've basically been talking ever since sorta. He's cute enough, but not really my type, kinda, well cocky isnt the right word for it but i'm trying to get this done fast so cocky is good enough. I dunno, but he's a good enough guy.
Third. A few days after I started texting cole and such, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself (and high as fuck) and decided to tell, well, two people who I knew I could trust: Louann and Lauren. Great gals. Lauren I told first, she texted me about this note and Tessa wanted to know who I liked and if it was her so she asked Lauren to ask me, well I'm like nah its a guuuuyyyyy.. And she was like fo shizz? And yeah, pretty good. Louann I told over facebook cause she asked who I liked as well. Soo, basically two people on the same night, pretty dece, if I do say so myself.
Still don't know where this is going? Well, let's get back to that in a little bit, I have to fill in the gaps between then and now.
Louann basically is one of my best friends right now, other than Keira & Sarah. Like, in order, my best friends are this
1. Keira, obvious reasons. Sister.
2. Sarah and Louann tie basically cause they are both my besties just, our hangouts are quite different, maybe that's soon to change, I dunno
3. Lauren. Even though I don't really see much of her, we haven't ever had a not good time and we can talk to each other really easily. Can't friggen wait till I see her.
4. Warren, basically my only guy friend. (who now knows about.. me hurray. This will be elaborated on later) And he's someone I can ACTUALLY call a friend, which is wierd to say about a guy.
5. Mallory, we always have a friggen great time together (minus the time we found warrens car smashed up in an intersection) and now SHE knows as well. I can talk to her easily.
So two days before I left, Louann and I had a great catch up dinner at Earls - friggen delicious food, but that was the first time I've ever had to pay for something at a restaurant (like an actual one) and it waslike $55 for the both of us haha. Deffs wasn't expecting that.
So then the day before I left, I really wasn't feeling the sleeping till only like 3 AM thing, so I just decided to stay up the whole night. Went for an epic walk/chill at my place with keira till about 10, and then Red(omnomnom) dropped off a fucking HUUUGE 20 bag. And he GAVE ME HIS BONG (now for keeps cause he 'had a bad trip' and don't wanna smoke weed anymore. pansy.) so yeah that night Shelby, Brett Loader, and James Sambrook all came over and we had a super good time, and I went to the airport SUPER FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND. Like omg planes = trippiest/funnest thing ever. Then I slept till the plane got to houston, then we had a good time. Had something to eat in houston, waited for a while, got on a plane to amsterdam. Don't feel like giving details abuot all that, so I'll just leave it for another blog (or not).
Got to Holland, Jamie, Wil and Lia picked me up, went to Burgerbrug where W&L live, then went to Sint Maarten to be with Zusan & family. Super great, minus Melvin and Jamie screaming at each other all day. Went to amsterdam on tuesday, had a boat tour through the canals, then walked around and did a shitload of shopping, then came back to SM. <- nice my initials
Okay, birthday party. Basically, best birthday I've ever had. Had a 'surprise' party which was really obvious. "Oh, lets go to your cousins birthday party on YOUR birthday!" Yeah, okay. Hah, but it was a super good time, got super super tanked, did some things apparantly that I don't remember, and met about 35 people that I don't know who are related to me and I don't remember anyone's name. Good times all around, obvs. My cousins say they're going to find me a nice dutch girl to hook up with. That'll go over SO well, I can already tell.
Haha lawl, when I'm on the subject of family and hooking up with people, it turns out Aaron, Julian(Yulian), and Zusan all hooked up with the same girl at different times. My family is CLEARLY just THAT classy. Best part is is that its two guys and a girl. Haha.
Okay, drama time! August 14th: not a great day, for multiple reasons.
2 AM: Spent half an hour clinging to the toilet, no puke (thank god)
10 AM: Rita calls from the other side of the door asking me if I still wanna go to the cheese market in Alkmaar. Prospect of cheese or any other kind of puke makes me want to vomit. I say no and miss out on a once in a year (at least) experience, I'll go next time.
2 PM: Wake up finally, feeling pree good. Eat a friggen delicious sandwich, go to Lia and Wil's to spend the weekend.
11:39 PM: Louann sends me a facebook message: "
so basically, mallory knowswhich means more than likely warren knowsand i don't know who they'll tell or have told..mallory called me and she said cole said you two had been texting a lot and that you were gay. just wanted to let you know..i don't know why they started talking but ya i guess he told her"
DRAAMMAAA TIIIMMEEEE! Sooo, basically this is what happened. Cole and Ali Magee work together. Cole was telling Ali about how lately him and I have been texting/talking on msn a lot lately, and that I am a pretty cool guy. Ali, being that clever feline that she is, comes to the obvious conclusion that, yes, I am gay. Omg Cole, way to make it friggen obvious. -_-. So, Ali goes to talk to Mallory to see if she knows anything about this, Mal says no, Mal promises not to tell anyone. However, Mal decided that it would be appropriate (which it WAS) to ask Louann. Louann had no choice but to confirm this. Oh, and Ali told Mal and Warren at the same time on account of the fact that they were together when Ali went to Mal. Sweet. So, Louann sends me that message, thank god, and little old me on another continent kind of freaks out a bit. Great, now everyones gonna know I'm gay! However, so far I am in the dark about everything. I THINK Cole just went and told Mallory for some reason that I'm gay. So I said some nasty things to him but I apologized and we're good now. And I was worried that cole told a bunch of OTHER people that I'm gay. But, alas, only Ali that we were friends now. And I was worried Ali was telling everyone, but she just went to Mallory. And now everything, to a degree, is good with me. (rhyme for the win) However, Mallory and Ali are now in a fight because Ali is mad at Mal because Mal went to Louann cause she was worried that maybe Warren and I had done something. (which, just for clarification, has never happened) So, now Ali and Louann and Mallory are in this whole big shpiel which I don't care about because I am going to keep the rest of my vacation as drama free as possible.
Also, I am addicted to this yogurt drink they have here called Yoki. Friggen delicious, and comes in giant milk containers. I want to live here.
I was going to add something else as well but I forget, thats for another day.
Song of the month: 'Joyride' by Metric.
Got this song off of youtube cause it isn't released anywhere, friggen delicious. Emily Haines = god.
What have we started?
Reverse locomotion
Predictions and planets align
Fire my apprentice
The expert back benchers
Predict a decline
Send an explosive good-bye to my restraint
Cover my ears and close my eyes
This is our last joy ride
If the abyss doesn't hide then
When I don't want to hear I just
Cover my ears and close my eyes
And when our next joy ride
Hits an abyss and we collide
Will you cover my ears if I cover your eyes
No stop it, momentum, slow motion, collision
Ask me a questionI'm under hypnosis
I'm conscious and barely alive
I feel terrific
Effects soporific
My honest reply
Until the opposite side
Returns full strength then
Cover my ears and close my eyes
And when our next joy ride
Hits an abyss and we collide
Will you cover my ears if I cover your eyes
No stop it, momentum, slow motion, collision
Monday, July 20, 2009
I copied this note from cole firkus... lawl
Can you answer 51 questions about just 1 person ?
Don’t change the friend half way through .
1) What’s their name?
Keeeiiiirraaaa
2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
hell no
3)Do you get along with this person all the time?
like 95% we have our little downspouts, who doesn't?
5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
well, i've eaten her cooking that wasn't really FOR me, so technically no. but she should soon! we can do two days where one person cooks dinner for the other, ja?
6) Is this person older than you?
nooooo.
7) Have you ever kissed this person?
on the cheek once I think but that was the most awkward moment of our friendship
9) Are you related to this person?
nope
11) Nickname?
Kelra, Kelrat, Kelpy, Keir
12.) Do they have a nickname for you?
Pooart.
13) How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
every day multiple times through text, most days in real life
14) Do you think they will repost this ?
she better!
15) Could you live with this person?
most likely, we'd have a dope time because we both aren't retarded in the kitchen. Good food=good life, ja?
16) Why is this person your number 1?l
why isn't she YOURS?!
18) How long have you known this person?
10 yearsish? no, 11 i think fo sho
19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
ummmm, i don't think we actually have really. maybe once? shopping trip when I get money when I come home from holland. >: )
20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
yeah lol it was dopee
21) If you ever moved away would u miss this person?
I would most likely cry for a few weeks until one of us broke down and took a plane to see each other after a month or so
23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person
yeah haha.
24) Do you know everything about this person?
I know as much as she is willing to share with her best friend
25) Would you date this person’s siblings?
meh, not really my type
26) Have you ever made something with this person?
yeah most likely
29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person?
no. no. no.
30) is your #1 on drugs?
sometimes i think so, but definitely not.
33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
nope
34) Does this person wear your clothes?
nooope.
35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
eh, yeah I suppose? but it would be wierd. different parts, y'know? maybe another guy, like, say, red? I'd switch bodies with him in a second.
36) Have you ever heard this person sing?
yesss! AND IT WAS GREAT!!! >:)
38) Do you and this person have a saying?
'This...... Changes...... EVERYTHING.....'
39) Do you know this persons facebook password?
yeah lol
41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
not really a fight, just not really saying much to her and not being that HAPPY with her but her still being my best friend
44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing?
we will. a lot.
45.)Do you know how to make this person happy?
Hellllllsss yeah.
46) Do you and this person talk a lot.
too much some would say, for us, just enough.
47) Do you like this person?
no i hate her obviously, god i hope she dies in a shit covered fiery hole.
48.) Has this person yelled at you?
no, not really
49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?
that would be the shittiest fist fight ever... neither of us can fight at all.
50.) Would you get any of ur guys friends to out with this person?
she doesn't like my guy friends I just realised. lawl.
51) Do you want to be friends with them forever?
fuck yeahhh!
Don’t change the friend half way through .
1) What’s their name?
Keeeiiiirraaaa
2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
hell no
3)Do you get along with this person all the time?
like 95% we have our little downspouts, who doesn't?
5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
well, i've eaten her cooking that wasn't really FOR me, so technically no. but she should soon! we can do two days where one person cooks dinner for the other, ja?
6) Is this person older than you?
nooooo.
7) Have you ever kissed this person?
on the cheek once I think but that was the most awkward moment of our friendship
9) Are you related to this person?
nope
11) Nickname?
Kelra, Kelrat, Kelpy, Keir
12.) Do they have a nickname for you?
Pooart.
13) How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
every day multiple times through text, most days in real life
14) Do you think they will repost this ?
she better!
15) Could you live with this person?
most likely, we'd have a dope time because we both aren't retarded in the kitchen. Good food=good life, ja?
16) Why is this person your number 1?l
why isn't she YOURS?!
18) How long have you known this person?
10 yearsish? no, 11 i think fo sho
19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
ummmm, i don't think we actually have really. maybe once? shopping trip when I get money when I come home from holland. >: )
20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
yeah lol it was dopee
21) If you ever moved away would u miss this person?
I would most likely cry for a few weeks until one of us broke down and took a plane to see each other after a month or so
23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person
yeah haha.
24) Do you know everything about this person?
I know as much as she is willing to share with her best friend
25) Would you date this person’s siblings?
meh, not really my type
26) Have you ever made something with this person?
yeah most likely
29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person?
no. no. no.
30) is your #1 on drugs?
sometimes i think so, but definitely not.
33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
nope
34) Does this person wear your clothes?
nooope.
35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
eh, yeah I suppose? but it would be wierd. different parts, y'know? maybe another guy, like, say, red? I'd switch bodies with him in a second.
36) Have you ever heard this person sing?
yesss! AND IT WAS GREAT!!! >:)
38) Do you and this person have a saying?
'This...... Changes...... EVERYTHING.....'
39) Do you know this persons facebook password?
yeah lol
41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
not really a fight, just not really saying much to her and not being that HAPPY with her but her still being my best friend
44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing?
we will. a lot.
45.)Do you know how to make this person happy?
Hellllllsss yeah.
46) Do you and this person talk a lot.
too much some would say, for us, just enough.
47) Do you like this person?
no i hate her obviously, god i hope she dies in a shit covered fiery hole.
48.) Has this person yelled at you?
no, not really
49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?
that would be the shittiest fist fight ever... neither of us can fight at all.
50.) Would you get any of ur guys friends to out with this person?
she doesn't like my guy friends I just realised. lawl.
51) Do you want to be friends with them forever?
fuck yeahhh!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
It's been a while, old friend!
I have no idea, why, at the time when everyone else is unhappy with SOMETHING, I am generally the happiest I've been for a very long time. The last two to three weeks can honestly be said that they were the best I've had since school started, or even before that. Sarah and I are FINALLY hanging out a lot outside of school, even if this whole sylvester shit is bringing her down & she isn't really handling the problem that well. Sylvester got Franquie involved with it and Sarah is freaking out and saying franquie is being a big bitch, when, in reality, she isn't. (sarah fwed the messages to me) But whatever. Her problem. I really, really want to say something, but she's a sleeping giant and I REALLY do not want to agitate that giant. I'm happy the way we are. :P
Auddie, I'm pretty sure, knows I'm gay. We were talking about red's muscles today during break. And discussing how you never know when a guy is gay or bi these days. Lol. Kind of obvious, but whatever. He's growing less annoying.
I bought new music. It's hot. And I decorated my room a bit! Decorated my one empty wall with album covers & such. Looks really good, I must say! Although I destroyed the boxes that a few of my new CDs came from, thats what the CD booklet box holder thing is for. :) I really need to write that letter to Julie, cause I kind of miss her. Not sure why, but she was a good girl and she was part of my life for a year and a half and I think she just needs some closure between the two of us. MGMT is hot. That is all.
But yeah, I've started to smoke weed regularly again, which I think is part of my new constant (mostly) happy state. Besides the fact that my ipod is gone, I just keep using my papa's, and he doesn't really notice bahahaha. I'm terrible. Watch as this one gets stolen!
I have no idea why I went through that metal band phase thing. It would have been SO much easier just to skip to where I am now. A content balance of indie rock, pop, chill music, and regular rock. Plus some other randoms thrown in there. Oh well, my metal band phase thing is what let me and sarah become such good friends, so I guess that's what I'll thank. And this way, when Sarah talks about a certain band, I know what she's talking about! Silver Lining ftw!
Mallory and Warren are definitely not going to last. Ugh it tears me apart to see them like that, putting on that ruse. I really need to learn to intervene sometimes. One day, I'm going to see some old lady getting mugged, and I am just going to look away and keep moving, which really is not what I would want to do in reality.
IN ADDITION, I need to stop lying to people. Well, its mostly about the football thing, but if anyone in my family hears about it, I am going to be fucked repeatedly. Hopefully it's by Red? If I had anyone I had to choose from, it would be him. I actually like him though, which is the odd thing. I don't just WANT him, I am starting to think I need him? But that's impossible, because we see each other at work only, and we've hung out like, twice on the weekends. But, he's just so.... flirty. Argh. His texts to me all have winky or smily faces on them, but I'm not sure if he does that to everyone or just to me. Blargh. Oh well, if he ends up not liking that stuff, I'm sure we'll still be friends. He is somewhat friends with Auddie, after all.
I am so SUPER PUMPED for summer. Like, jeez. If I'm still happy when school is still in, I can't think of how happy I'll be once it's OUT!
This is going to be SUCH a good 3 months.
SONG OF THE (MONTH?)
White Unicorn by Wolfmother
Have you been to the carnival
I would like to see you
There’s a whole lot of people there
Who would like to be you
With the white unicorn, across her shoulder
Makes you think that she might of been
Someone who’s older, ahh yeahhh
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
We could live together...
We could live together...
She lives on the borderline, that they call hazel,
And the tent that she lives in, has the name of her lover,
Ahh yeah!
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
sister can you tell me when the day turns to night
she left without a word and wondered inside
how many days must i still wonder why
and see her face in every passer by
we could live together...
we could live together...
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
We could live together...
Auddie, I'm pretty sure, knows I'm gay. We were talking about red's muscles today during break. And discussing how you never know when a guy is gay or bi these days. Lol. Kind of obvious, but whatever. He's growing less annoying.
I bought new music. It's hot. And I decorated my room a bit! Decorated my one empty wall with album covers & such. Looks really good, I must say! Although I destroyed the boxes that a few of my new CDs came from, thats what the CD booklet box holder thing is for. :) I really need to write that letter to Julie, cause I kind of miss her. Not sure why, but she was a good girl and she was part of my life for a year and a half and I think she just needs some closure between the two of us. MGMT is hot. That is all.
But yeah, I've started to smoke weed regularly again, which I think is part of my new constant (mostly) happy state. Besides the fact that my ipod is gone, I just keep using my papa's, and he doesn't really notice bahahaha. I'm terrible. Watch as this one gets stolen!
I have no idea why I went through that metal band phase thing. It would have been SO much easier just to skip to where I am now. A content balance of indie rock, pop, chill music, and regular rock. Plus some other randoms thrown in there. Oh well, my metal band phase thing is what let me and sarah become such good friends, so I guess that's what I'll thank. And this way, when Sarah talks about a certain band, I know what she's talking about! Silver Lining ftw!
Mallory and Warren are definitely not going to last. Ugh it tears me apart to see them like that, putting on that ruse. I really need to learn to intervene sometimes. One day, I'm going to see some old lady getting mugged, and I am just going to look away and keep moving, which really is not what I would want to do in reality.
IN ADDITION, I need to stop lying to people. Well, its mostly about the football thing, but if anyone in my family hears about it, I am going to be fucked repeatedly. Hopefully it's by Red? If I had anyone I had to choose from, it would be him. I actually like him though, which is the odd thing. I don't just WANT him, I am starting to think I need him? But that's impossible, because we see each other at work only, and we've hung out like, twice on the weekends. But, he's just so.... flirty. Argh. His texts to me all have winky or smily faces on them, but I'm not sure if he does that to everyone or just to me. Blargh. Oh well, if he ends up not liking that stuff, I'm sure we'll still be friends. He is somewhat friends with Auddie, after all.
I am so SUPER PUMPED for summer. Like, jeez. If I'm still happy when school is still in, I can't think of how happy I'll be once it's OUT!
This is going to be SUCH a good 3 months.
SONG OF THE (MONTH?)
White Unicorn by Wolfmother
Have you been to the carnival
I would like to see you
There’s a whole lot of people there
Who would like to be you
With the white unicorn, across her shoulder
Makes you think that she might of been
Someone who’s older, ahh yeahhh
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
We could live together...
We could live together...
She lives on the borderline, that they call hazel,
And the tent that she lives in, has the name of her lover,
Ahh yeah!
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
sister can you tell me when the day turns to night
she left without a word and wondered inside
how many days must i still wonder why
and see her face in every passer by
we could live together...
we could live together...
And i know its on your mind
we've been drinking on the wine
that we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
We could live together...
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